If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
