If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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