And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
