shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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