If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
