whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize