Define "chronic" masturbator.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
