wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
