It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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