Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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