she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
