I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
