she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
