I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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