we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
