Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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