Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
