used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
