just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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