dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
