it wasn't lemon gatorade
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Let's get the cat blown out
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
