That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize