you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
