the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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