Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
