just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
