That's intense
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
