No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
