JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
