Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
