piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
