I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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