she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We need a shit load of segways right now
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
