two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
