ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize