Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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