I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
