well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
