ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
