Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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