Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
