community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
