I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize