I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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