The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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