How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize