I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
