okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
