Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
