i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
