As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
