i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
