I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
