I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize