I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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