It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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