I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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