Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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