My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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