Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
