I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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