I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
