sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize