they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
