oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize