My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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