Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
