never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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