Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
