When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
