I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
