he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
