Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I will pee on everything he values.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
