when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
