Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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