we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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