I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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