Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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