I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
