ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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