At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my shit smells like andre
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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