Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
